Solace
sol·ace | /ˈsäləs/
Comfort in grief; alleviation of grief or anxiety.
A source of relief or consolation.
Writer’s Block
I found it particularly hard to settle on a topic for this week. I threw several ideas into the ether, but none hit the target. I searched for “bad news in August,” “world news,” “good news,” and “what to look forward to in September”—only to get more blocked.
Then I realized: I was in desperate need of solace. I suspect my readers might be, too.
August is not quite over, and my searches revealed that the month’s news scale tilts heavily toward the dark side. I pulled up a news list on Wikipedia, only to realize the sheer volume of crisis entries was for August 1st alone. The good news list, by contrast, was mostly a few animal stories. This August does not bode well for us humans on a global scale.
Inviting Mara to Tea
It’s funny how switching to a mundane task like loading the dryer with wet towels can spark inspiration. The ordinary isn’t loaded with grief or anxiety. When we are overcome by events beyond our control, it’s easy to slide into despair. Fortunately, a retreat I attended years ago taught me a helpful Buddhist practice.
“There are many stories about the Buddha inviting Mara to tea—Mara being the demon who represented death, destruction, lust, and temptation. Rather than viewing the demon with despair or as an enemy, the Buddha would offer Mara a comfortable seat, welcoming him with tea, conversation, friendliness, and grace. They would part in peace.”
I can tell you it works, especially when navigating chronic health conditions or heavy news cycles. (For a deeper dive, check out this piece from the Opening Heart Mindfulness Community: Sharing Tea with the Buddha).
Rather than falling down the rabbit holes of global tragedy, I chose to focus on the real-world communities that offer me genuine solace.
A Night at Old Major
On Friday night, I joined my daughter and her partner at my favorite watering hole, Old Major Bar, for dinner and karaoke. The place was packed, filled with excellent vocalists earning well-deserved applause. All demons had been checked at the locked door, unable to be buzzed in.
I felt safe enough in that shared joy to request “Love Shack” by the B-52s. My daughter and I grabbed one mic, a fellow patron grabbed another, and soon the entire bar was singing along.
The Flea Market
On Sunday, I joined fellow volunteers to prep for our annual church flea market. The money raised goes directly to Community Outreach grants. Sorting through donations offers a quiet window into the lives of our neighbors. Some items come from the estates of those who recently passed—a gentle, physical reminder of the old adage: You can’t take it with you.
Finding Meaning in the Dark
When dealing with grief or heavy themes, there are two historical authors I always turn to: Viktor Frankl and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.
As a novelist writing historical fiction set in Lithuania and Baltimore, I often dig deep into generational tragedy. These writers remind me how the human spirit survives it:
Viktor Frankl: Born in Vienna in 1905, Frankl endured daily persecution before surviving the concentration camps. In Man’s Search for Meaning, he posited that individuals endure hardship by discovering a core purpose.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn: Arrested during WWII for criticizing Stalin in private letters, Solzhenitsyn survived prison camps, exile, and cancer before winning the 1970 Nobel Prize in Literature. One of my favorite takeaways from his work:
“There’s more than one way of working. If it’s for human beings—make sure and do it properly. If it’s for the big man—just make it look good.”
Heavy reading isn’t for everyone, of course. When I need pure escapism, Netflix serves as my go-to medium for lighter fare.
10 Small Ways to Find Solace
To leave us with a practical anchor when things feel overwhelming, here is a list adapted from creator Chase Amie on finding daily comfort:
Emotionally check in with friends.
Make the effort to hold virtual hangouts.
Practice a whole lot of self-care.
Remind yourself that staying home is doing something.
Support local businesses where you can.
Donate if you have the means.
Tackle a small project at home.
Take on a fun new challenge.
Take intentional news breaks.
Celebrate the little things.
I’m currently doing almost all of these except #8—my plate is plenty full! A year ago, my “new challenge” was launching a weekly Substack, which remains a rewarding work in progress.
Over to You
How do you find solace when the world feels too heavy?
Feel free to copy and paste your favorites from the list above in the comments, or share your own go-to practice!
Where we find solace?
Camping in dear van Solis! 😊
May all find so(u)lace.