Reflections on June

The Rise of the Masculine

Many events were happening in June, starting with my birthday. But as the month comes to a close, I want to look back with a nod to Father’s Day and an observation on the evolving definition of the masculine.

This past Saturday, I got into a bit of a tiff on a neighborhood forum. A local woman had posted a polite request asking neighbors not to set off fireworks for the entire week surrounding the holiday. Her reasoning was sound: it triggers people with PTSD, sends pets into absolute panic, and keeps everyone from sleeping.

Surprisingly, the backlash she received was swift, intense, and mostly from men. The defensiveness of the responses immediately reminded me of the phrase “disenfranchised white male” that surfaced so prominently during the 2016 election cycle. Curious about where that cultural tension stands today, I decided to do a little digging.

Here is what I found.

The Modern Narrative vs. The 90/10 Rule

Earlier this year, on January 13, 2026, Judd Legum touched on this exact cultural friction in his piece, The truth about being a white man in America:

“America is a big place and there are undoubtedly some instances of “reverse discrimination” against white men in the country. But Trump’s claim that, as a group, white men are discriminated against in higher education and the job market is flatly false.”

This brings to mind the 90/10 theory: ninety percent of people generally do the “right thing” and fly under the radar, while the ten percent who are disruptive or extreme absorb ninety percent of the attention. To me, this is exactly what we are witnessing in the current cultural discourse.

Looking Back to Move Forward

I graduated from college on the cusp of the second wave of feminism. It was an era of monumental shifts: the passage of the Equal Pay Act and landmark Supreme Court decisions like Griswold v. Connecticut (1965) and Roe v. Wade (1973). But progress has always faced friction. Even though Congress passed the Equal Rights Amendment in 1972, a conservative backlash ensured it fell short of the states needed for ratification.

Living through that era meant experiencing firsthand gender discrimination and the palpable angst of men who openly claimed I was “taking a man’s job away.”

Even today, some of my male contemporaries still look at my engineer daughter and comment on her “non-traditional” career choice. These same mindsets continue to hold a disproportionate amount of power in our legislatures and supreme courts. When will it ever end? No one lives forever. Sadly, we Baby Boomers currently have far more funerals to attend than doctor’s visits.

But there is genuine hope on the horizon. Shortly after the 2020 election, Torsten Landsberg captured the beginning of a shift:

“Traditional gender roles are no longer valid, but men are dealing with the new expectations of masculinity in different ways. From vulnerability to metrosexuality, gender is transforming….. There is nothing bad to be said about the person who is able to empathize with others. The modern man is also able to admit weaknesses, even flaws and defeats...”

A New Trend in Masculinity

Last week, I wrote about the Pride Day celebrations in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Amidst the joy, I witnessed a fascinating trend in male fashion. I’m not referring to the drag queens or cross-dressers. These were clearly heterosexual men with neatly trimmed hair and beards, comfortably holding hands with their female partners—while wearing skirts.

Naturally, I had to validate what I was seeing. Sure enough, journalist Tina Lončar recently highlighted this exact movement:

“...How men are wearing skirts this season with waistcoats, shirts and blazers, they have become an essential element of unconventional menswear tailoring.”

It was incredibly refreshing to be part of a celebration where “anything goes,” provided it remains polite and civil. Of course, there were still a few self-proclaimed “alpha kings” gunning their Harleys and blaring music loaded with profanity. (And if a guy feels he’s too much of a “Beta,” I suppose he can always find a boot camp for that!) According to right-wing commentator Nick Adams, “being an alpha male means, among other things, marrying a woman who is both hot and low maintenance, and never apologizing.”

Please excuse my digression, but I have a different take.

Real men wear skirts, do laundry, care for children, and can be incredibly low maintenance. The same goes for trans people. At the end of the day, it isn’t about rigid gender boxes—it’s just called being human. And as for me? This hot fossil of a Baby Boomer will happily apologize if I’ve offended anyone. I am still a work in progress.

Striking the Balance: The Divine Masculine

I think a wonderful note to end on comes from Scott Hilburn’s reflections on the rise of the Divine Masculine:

“When teaching men about our Divine nature, I often use the Yin-Yang symbol. The circle represents Divinity which is split in two: Masculine and Feminine. Each one has the other within it, symbolized by the little dot of the opposite color within each side. We all have Masculine and Feminine within us. Ideally, we are able to use both of these expressions to serve ourselves and the world.

Both qualities are equally important and do not exist without the other. As we embrace the healthiest version of our dominant quality, we have the ability to more fully receive the other quality. So this means as men embrace their Divine Masculine Energy, they now can receive and understand the Divine Feminine within them and around them more readily.”

I propose we continue to embrace both the feminine and the masculine in all of us.

Let’s Chat: From neighborhood tiffs over fireworks to men rocking skirts in Portsmouth, June gave us plenty to look back on. How do you find balance between the masculine and feminine energies in your own life? Leave a comment and let me know—and remember, we’re all works in progress!

Esquire Magazine 2023