Finding the Light in Ocean City

Daylight and the sound of the ocean woke me up this morning. I traveled to the edge of the world to spend a few days in Ocean City before the “June Bugs” descend and take over the boardwalk.

My parents let me take the 1963 Ford Galaxie convertible to spend a week in an apartment here after high school graduation. My friends and I had worked weekends at Montgomery Ward’s headquarters; we were required to join the Teamsters Union and were promptly fired as soon as our dues were fulfilled. We didn’t care. We were about to become June Bugs ourselves—this was our last fling before full-time summer jobs and the Great Scatter toward different colleges. We had no idea how much the world would change between 1968 and now.

From Tethers to Drones

In those years, our friends and brothers enlisted or were drafted to fight in Vietnam. Since then, we have sent more soldiers to fight endless wars, though today, drones and robots often replace human “cannon fodder.” Technology runs the world now. Thanks to the Internet, the world is smaller, and our phones are no longer tethered to a wall outlet. Sadly, social media has often replaced conversation.

Television news has evolved from a brief 10-minute evening broadcast into a 24-hour buffet of local, regional, and national coverage. YouTube has made me a morning news junkie, but lately, the focus is so narrow and repetitive that I’ve begun to experience “gaslighting exhaustion.”

The “Miriam” Webster Definition

My friend Miriam Webster defines gaslighting as:

Psychological manipulation... that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories.

Psychology Today suggests resisting this by recalling one’s own successes. Fortunately, my trip to the ocean included a book signing at The Greyhound in Berlin, Maryland. I am a published author in the last quarter of my life, and I spent a wonderful day signing Ona’s Tears and talking about historical fiction. Last Friday, a Counselor for the Lithuanian Embassy in DC bought a copy of my book and thanked me for writing it. Very few people have written novels about Lithuanian history; it was a moment of profound “light.”

See the Light

According to Miriam, there are 16 definitions for the word “light.” While I experienced “dawn” (No. 2) this morning, these three are particularly relevant for those of us feeling gaslighted:

• 6. Spiritual illumination; truth.

• 7. Public knowledge.

• 8. Something that enlightens or informs.

Watching the sunrise reminds us that no matter what humans do, the sun will continue to rise for at least another five billion years.

The Endurance of the “Lost Generation”

Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises reflects the disillusionment of the “Lost Generation” after WWI—a world where traditional meaning failed to provide fulfillment. Yet, his later work, The Old Man and the Sea, offers a different perspective. It is a story of endurance that left an indelible impression on me during college.

Finding the Balance

To endure the modern world, I’ve had to find my own balance:

• Digital Detox: I’ve exchanged the stress of the news for jigsaw puzzles on Jigidi while watching Netflix before bed.

• Self-Care: Acupuncture, chiropractic and massage help me manage my fibromyalgia.

• Connection: Weekly dates at the Silent Book Club and Lithuanian Hall keep me social.

• Family: Yearly trips keep me tethered to my long-distance friends and kin.

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What keeps you balanced when the world feels like a quagmire? Let me know in the comments.